To the editor:
There's a fad out there that consists of a little doo-flicky that you hold in your fingers and spin. It kind of reminded me of the old Hula Hoop. These things make somebody a lot of money and everybody sometimes wonders if they might stumble on an idea like that. Now it's no secret that my business acumen is a lot closer to Sasquatch than Warren Buffet, but there was a moment once.
It started some years ago on one of my wanderings out back. I came across a pile of moose droppings. That wasn't unusual, but it just happened that a similarly nutty friend of mine had a birthday coming up.
My twisted mind looked at that moose poop and I was inspired to make a unique gift. I gathered some up, took it home, dried it out, and covered the neat, round objects with varnish. On one I used additional gold lacquer I had hanging around. Another got silvery aluminum paint. A couple others I left in their natural, varnished glory.
We had an old jewelry box from a watch or something. I made a nice label, "Moose Jewels," and packed my creations neatly inside.
When I presented the gift to my friend, he got quite a chuckle out of it, and took it to show others — and that was when inspiration hit.
"Hey," I thought. "I'll bet this would sell!" My mind was racing. I'll have to start small, but it won't be long. I'll need a building. There'd be a crew out in the woods gathering raw material. Others would be painting and packaging. I'd be an entrepreneur! (Entremanure?)
I was so pleased with myself I called my mother to run it by her. "Mom, you know those small, round,moose droppings I showed you once?"
"Yeah, I remember—and your not going to believe this. Some jackass down here is making jewelry out of it. Tie tacks, ear-rings, cuff links. They use deer poop, too. And there is "elk-stone" jewelry. Did you ever hear anything so stupid?"
I changed the subject. It's been done. I guess I wasn't going to be a millionaire that way. So it's over. The replacement for the Hula Hoop will have to wait.